Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Good, the True, and the Beautiful

All you Martial Law babies out there who would like to reminisce "the good, the true, and the beautiful" would really appreciate this.

It's a website dedicated to this wonderful icon of Dekada 70 who -- together with her equally dashing husband -- so wonderfully led this nation to an era of darkness, fear, and despondency. Check out
The Wit and Wisdom of Imelda Marcos.

And don't forget to also click on the links there.

A word of warning especially for those from my generation: have your fill of antacid before browsing through this. It may just cause unnecessary attacks of hyperacidity. hekhekhek...

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Issues of the Day

Issue: Military, police brace for protest actions vs. GMA’s SONA
Reaction: They should. People are so mad at the administration, they can now bite through the anti-riot polices’ shields.

Issue: SWS survey reveals GMA as “least popular president in recent history”
Reaction: I dunno. I think it’s a tie between her and Marcos. But in fairness to the latter, I think that it was his wife who cursed his memory – not Marcos himself. GMA did this to herself, in collaboration with her sleaze of a husband.

Issue: Endangered Philippine eagle found simmering in farmer’s stew
Reaction: I wish that he (the farmer, not the bird) choked – but he didn’t. Dang…

Issue: NAIA Terminal 3 finally opens to local airline carriers
Reaction: Finally, the white elephant was put to use. I just wonder if they are raising terminal fees because of this. (I hope not…)

Issue: Pierce Brosnan elected “governor” in ARMM mock elections; Celine Dion wins vice-governor ticket
Reaction: Even I would elect my all-time crush Pierce Brosnan as president of the Philippines anytime. But I first have to be assured that I’ll be his First Lady. BWAHAHAHA!

Issue: More Sulpicio Lines workers laid off from their jobs
Reaction: While these people may not be directly to blame for the numerous disasters involving Sulpicio Lines ships, I think this would be better for them in the long run. I personally wouldn’t want to be connected with Sulpicio in any way, and this shipping line’s officials should be shot in the head.

Issue: Seven-year old child relates beatings under abusive grandma
Reaction: Burned with an iron, hammered, whipped…What kind of animal could do such a thing? Oops that’s doing an injustice to animals: it’s only humans who could do that.

Issue: Strong earthquake rocks Japan
Reaction: The Brazilian seer who predicted a powerful earthquake to hit the Philippines last July 18 was way off course.

Issue: Will Smith is now Forbes Magazine’s best-paid actor
Reaction: Yo! The homey rules!

Issue: Dark Knight a box office hit
Reaction: To paraphrase Will Smith’s line in Hancock: “Homo in black…”

Issue: Britney Spears seen in a charity function for autistic children
Reaction: Autistic children? Finally, she’s among her peers.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Down with Superheroes in Tights: Hancock is Here!

Take heed, all ye who have since grown out of those childish superhero-worshipping days! I implore upon you enlightened souls to watch Hancock!

Yup, fellow mortals who barf at the sight of flying men in tights, Hancock is the movie to watch, primarily because it's not your typical superhero movie. In fact, it actually scoffs at superhero stereotypes. The slogan says it all: Hancock, not your average superhero.

And what a choice for an actor to play the lead role: Will Smith! I loved this guy from Day One when he was still in those confused-teenager-rapper-brotha-in-the-hood stages of his career. Now, the movie gods have bestowed superpowers on him and he's flying like a drunk (Wait: he really IS drunk!) gull on amphetamines, whizzing over Los Angeles and creating damage on anything he touches. No bit of sarcasm here: Will Smith's got the Up-Yours personality really down pat as Hancock!


I understand that this movie will be receiving mixed reviews, considering that there are those who still adhere to the principles propagated by the likes of Batman and Wolverine. Oh heck, let them stick to the boring run-of-the-mill superheroes -- I'll have Hancock any day!

Audiences will be seeing Hancock doing more damage than good -- but it's not really what he intends. Well...yeah, he intended for those mishaps to happen, but let it be said that the whole point underneath those careless adventures was noble in nature. There were a bunch of gun-toting kids racing along the freeway -- Hancock skewered their car to a building's spire. A guy was stuck in the middle of traffic, and his car was about to be pummeled by a train -- Hancock smashed the train to a stop and one-handedly flipped the doomed guy's car over to avoid the crash. (Well yeah, he could have flew upwards carrying the car with him, but that's not his style.) He drinks like there's no tomorrow, his mouth is in desperate need of soaping, and he has the remarkable ability to send even school kids flying to the heavens upon utterance of the word, "asshole." Yes, Hancock's an asshole, and that's why I love him! Let the angsty Bruce Wayne and the lovestruck Peter Parker beat that!

In the middle of the movie, the same guy Hancock saves from the train mishap tries to "remodel" his image from good-for-nothing drunkard with superpowers to the superhero everyone will be calling for. In one scene, Ray (the PR guy from the train mishap) brings Hancock to his house and shows him covers of superhero comic books. Here is their gem of a conversation:

Ray: (Holding a comic book with a flying superhero) What comes into your mind when you see this?
Hancock: Hmmmm...homo.
Ray: (Shows next comic book cover) What about this?
Hancock: Homo in red?
Ray: (Shows another comic book cover. Superhero in picture has wavy blond locks) How about this?
Hancock: Norwegian homo?

If you are into political correctness, Hancock is not the movie to see.

Ray's wife, Mary, has surprises of her own. She is introduced in the movie as a woman who dislikes Ray's sudden connection with Hancock. I don't want to reveal what happens next, only that Mary apparently has a stronger connection with Hancock than her husband. Oh, and I should mention that the role of Mary is played by the beautiful Charlize Theron. This gal has one weather-altering secret that only Hancock will be able to bring into light.

Unlike other superhero movies with a climactic fight-to-the-death scene toward the end, this does not happen with Hancock. Instead, one will find a mortally-wounded Hancock doing the only thing he knows to save the one woman who mattered to him in his entire life -- leave her.

Like I said, this isn't your typical superhero movie. They usually get the girl in the end. Hancock doesn't. Nonetheless, all's well that ends well. Roll out the credits.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Try This!

Here's something I got off the Internet. It's a very, VERY short and painless quiz that relates colors/food to people in our lives. I tried it and it was quite accurate. Why don't you visit http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoyoureallythinkofyourfriendsquiz/ and try it yourself?

There's actually a code showing my answers which I can copy to place in this blog -- but I chose not to copy it. There are just some things about my personal life which I'd rather not reveal. LOL!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

I was Tagged!

1. This game starts with 6 weird things about you.
2. People who got tagged need to write a blog entry of their own 6 weird things.
3. They should as well state this rule clearly.
4. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” in their comments and tell them to read your blog.


I was tagged by my former officemate,
Marly, and it took me quite a while before I can take on the challenge, so...

1. I have this aversion toward fallen hair. Can't stand being in a bathroom with fallen hair left by the one/s who used it before me. Grosses me to Kingdom come. That's why I make it a point to be the first to use the bathroom whenever I'm on a trip with other people so I won't have to contend with their DNA leftovers.

2. I dunno what they call phobia toward worms -- but I have that. Stems back from my elementary days when we were doing some gardening in school. A naughty male classmate of mine suddenly decided to throw a big fat earthworm toward me. It landed on my arm, and I felt it slither. Ewwwwwwwww!!!!!!

3. Some of you who may have been with me during times when I was sleepy/tired would notice this. Banlag ako. My eyes don't seem to be looking at the same direction especially when they're tired.

4. I have this funny head-tilting thing (complete with the raised eyebrow) that I unconsciously do every now and then, especially when I am trying to concentrate on something, or when I'm listening to someone. Makes me look mataray even when I'm not trying to be.

5. I ran in the 200-meter dash in the Rizal Memorial Stadium during the 1982 (or was it 1981?) Palarong Maynila. Of course, I lost. (hehehe) Also lost in the shotput and long jump events. But so damn proud of being able to join a big athletic event like that.

6. I used to dance with my cousins to the complete tune of Menudo's "Explosion." We even had headbands on our foreheads while dancing. *gasp!* It was the "in" thing to do at that time, though. Lea Salonga had it worse: she was a constant guest performer in the Menudo concerts. But in fairness, Menudo was probably the hottest boy group of that era. Ricky Martin was still a new member during that time, and girls swooned over Robby Rosa.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

The Faces of Philippine Public Service

I just saw this on ICanHasCheezburger.com, and I just had to share this with everyone. Reminds me of our government solons.



Was looking for a crocodile version but cannot find any, so I guess this will do. Yes, laugh all you want.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Website Watch 6: SubservientChicken.com

There are simply no words to describe it. It's a subservient chicken. Do with it what you will. Here's a screenshot to give you an idea:


If you're mad at your boss, check out the subservient chicken. If you and your boyfriend/girlfriend split up, check out the subservient chicken. If your parents disowned you, check out the subservient chicken. If you lost your job, check out the subservient chicken.

To sum it all up, if you're mad at the world -- even at yourself -- then vent out all your anger at the subservient chicken. Come out of the experience with a smile on your face.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Website Watch 3: CostumeCats.com

Okay, so this is a choice not without bias. (I'm a cat-lover, so sue me.)

Check out http://www.costumecats.com/ and die from extreme cuteness.

Here are several samples of pictures from the website:




















The nice thing about this site is that it has a wide selection of links to other cat websites. Cat-lovers are sure to get their feline fix from exploring this site.


My most favorite picture which I found on CostumeCats.com is this:


I have an aversion for worms, but if these slimy critters looked like this cutie, I may probably take up vermiculture. Hakhakhak!!!